I recently underwent a surgical operation called total membrane resection. Sometimes confused with abdominal wrinkle removal, panniculectomy is a non-cosmetic procedure designed to remove a person's abdominal apron, apron abdomen, or mother's apron-medically called abdominal pannus or panniculus. The belly apron is a hanging collection of skin and fat that extends beyond the bikini line and hangs down or over the pubic bone.

Basically, this is a (sometimes oversized) saggy belly, you all. It is the "belly" part of the VBO. Some people call it FUPA, although there is a lot of debate about whether this is accurate. (Some people...like Beyoncé... say that "mummy belly" is shit, some people say that the real chubby mound is shit. Feel free to draw your own FUPA conclusions.)

No matter what you call it, panniculectomy is the surgical removal of that... overhanging abdominal flap. Some people do this procedure after a lot of weight loss, and the result is a flat stomach. But this is not abdomen-it will not tighten any muscles, if you are as fat as me, you may not have a flat abdomen at all.

My decision to perform a pancreatectomy is twofold.

The first and most important one million miles, I have medical reasons to seek this procedure. In the past two decades, my weight has undergone tremendous up-and-down changes. The C-section of three children turned my cute little round belly into a very large, very heavy pannus. With each child, my skin loses some elasticity, and my abdomen apron grows longer and eventually becomes a grade 3 lipid film-which means it extends to the middle of the thigh. Middle thighs, people. It is becoming A. Whole. thing.

In the past two years after my daughter was born, although I lost a lot of weight, my lipid membranes had nowhere to go. That baby stayed here and persisted in his precious life, letting my lower abdominal muscles work hard for money. My lower back also started to feel tense for the first time. The weight of my damn fatty membrane presses on my legs and makes exercise more difficult, and some things, like riding a bicycle, are very embarrassing and uncomfortable.

A few months ago, when a yeast rash appeared under my apron, I began to seriously consider holographic meatectomy. My skin cracked and bleeds. It took several weeks and a variety of prescription drugs to clear it. I feel sick, I feel very painful.

At that time I decided to consider removing the hanging skin-because a large-scale operation would not be worse than treating this again.

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Clothes are not designed to contain pannus. According to the clothing manufacturer's standards, finding the right clothes is bad when your body is out of proportion. I like fashion, but I have felt excluded from fashion for many years. When I had to try to get used to my apron belly, nothing fits better than I want. Pants are designed for the legs... and the legs usually don't have 20-pound meat rolls, which are just chilling in the thigh area.

I am very comfortable when I am fat. I love my body. It has been very helpful to me for thirty-seven years. I think I am really beautiful. If I am not physically uncomfortable, I would never consider throwing away part of my body. But I will not pretend that I am not very excited about how different I am with the clothes I am wearing now, and how confident I am in this world.

From when I told my primary care doctor that I wanted to study the panniculectomy process to the day when a skilled surgeon continued to push my abdominal apron, there was less than two months left.

I am very lucky because my insurance agrees to pay 100% of the cost of the operation. The entire kit and a bunch of things I received from the hospital are estimated at $60,817-but my liability is $0. I recognize the great privileges that insurance like me brings to me. I do not want to discuss this without admitting that when I decide whether to implement this procedure, I do not have to consider the cost. Not everyone is like this, I fully understand this.

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As far as the pain is concerned, I am only one week after the operation, but I feel good. I took painkillers exactly as prescribed for the first three days, including setting an alarm for the overnight dose, and I did not feel any pain at all. There is not even any discomfort. Addiction spread in my family, so when my painkillers ended on the third day, I chose not to ask my surgeon more (as she instructed me to do when needed.) I continued to take it from After that, over-the-counter non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs arrived as scheduled, and my pain was almost gone. I feel uncomfortable from time to time, but since a few hours after the operation, I have been standing up and moving without any problems. This is not exactly a holiday, but it is good.

My surgeon eventually removed 19 pounds from my lower abdomen. No, I'm not kidding. There is a layer of fat and skin on my waist, which is almost as heavy as my toddler. I am very confident that removing it is the best for my body, my mind, and my wardrobe. Oh! I can't wait to buy a swimsuit next spring. When my apron is, you know... when the apron is, my chunky body will sway all the styles that have never worked for me.

The incision involved extends from the hip to the hip. I have two surgical drainage tubes-silicone grenade-like bags, with long silicone tubes at each end of the incision. I have to wear an abdominal brace to support and help reduce swelling. It looks like someone must have cut off a part of me-because she did it!

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Many people will eventually have a flat lower abdomen after holographic meatectomy, but since I am still very fat, I ended up not having a flat lower abdomen or anything close to it. My previously round, sagging belly is now a round, high belly. I am ecstatic about my results, but I am still chubby and round—as I know! Although I know that my body is still not the ideal of society, I cannot stop looking at every mirror I pass by. It is my own ideal! I keep joking that my shape is a bit like the Lady Glitter Sparkles in the Trolls movie. Did you know that Danny DeVito played the penguin in Batman Returns? He and I swayed a similar body shape.

Just after the operation, I looked in the mirror and described myself as "meatballs on toothpicks." But I am not angry about it. I am the cute meatball on a toothpick! The day after the operation, I even had a FaceTime call with my best friend, just to show her how I looked in my new pajamas.

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My body now feels more like my home. This is a bit close to my memory before I changed things in the last few years of my life, and I really enjoy this feeling. I can't wait to fully recover.

I know I will get some nonsense from the fat community for choosing this program, but honestly, I don't care. This is not to say that I told others to perform a holographic meatectomy, nor that my body is more valuable now because it has a little less fat. But I mean, my doctors, surgeons, and insurance companies all agree that I chose to remove nearly 20 pounds of fat from my abdomen for medical and aesthetic reasons. This is the right choice for me, and I do not regret it.

If you think that panniculectomy may be right for you, the best starting point is in your regular doctor's office. They can help you evaluate your body and determine whether removing the abdomen apron is medically beneficial to you.

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